Everything Is A Dildo If Youre Brave Enough Raunchy Cucumber Shirt
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Everything Is A Dildo If Youre Brave Enough Raunchy Cucumber Shirt

$21.95

  • Total: $0.00
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Estimated Arrival:
Place your order today to receive your item(s) between June 22 (US) and June 26 (EU).

Products are fulfilled and shipped from the United States.

Jun 13

Order Placed

Jun 15–Jun 17

Order Ships

Jun 22–Jun 26

Delivered

SKU: 05395DHEQECAYH Category:
  • Carriers: UPS & USPS (U.S.), trusted global carriers (international).
  • Handling Time: 1–3 business days (varies by product).
  • Delivery Time: U.S. 3–8 days | Intl 15–30 days.
  • Costs: From $5.99 U.S. / $9.99 Intl (first item).
  • Tracking emailed when shipped.
  • No exchanges for size/color selections due to our made-to-order process.
  • Full Refunds within 30 days only if the error is ours (damaged, defective, or incorrect item/print).
  • Cancellation: within the first 12 hours.

Guarantee:

  • If an item arrives damaged, defective, or incorrectly printed, we will replace it (no extra fee) or issue a 100% refund.
  • Valid for 30 days after delivery.
  • Contact us with clear photos/videos for prompt resolution.

Description

Everything Is A Dildo If Youre Brave Enough Raunchy Cucumber Shirt For People Who Laugh At Absolute Chaos

Some jokes tiptoe. This one sprints straight into the room wearing sunglasses and bad intentions. The Everything Is A Dildo If Youre Brave Enough Raunchy Cucumber Shirt hits right now because people are tired of pretending they have dignity left during the holidays, parties, or any random weekday. It’s bold. It’s unfiltered. It’s the kind of joke that separates the fun people from the boring ones instantly.

Everything

For The Degenerates, The Shameless, And The Friends Who Need Supervision

Made for the tribe that thrives on raunchy humor. Perfect for bar nights, bachelorette parties, backyard chaos, and any moment you want to watch someone spit their drink mid-laugh. Also makes an unforgettable gift for that one friend who has never once taken life seriously and never will.

Everything

Comfort You Can Wear While Making Everyone Uncomfortable

Soft feel. Wild energy.

  • Cotton that lands gentle on the skin, ideal for nights that may or may not get ridiculous.
  • A classic unisex fit that works cleanly on guys and gals, no weird tailoring to slow you down.
  • Stitching strong enough to endure washing machines, party mishaps, and questionable decisions.
  • A print that stays crisp even after laughter-induced tears and multiple late-night laundromat runs.
  • Proudly printed in the USA, backed by the same confidence this shirt radiates.

Service From A Shirt With No Shame

We ship fast because you don’t want to wait to cause trouble, and our happiness guarantee is simple: if something’s off, we fix it. The shirt would roll its eyes and say, “Relax, I’m the least of your problems.”

Grab your Everything Is A Dildo If Youre Brave Enough Raunchy Cucumber Shirt now and rock it like the menace to society you were born to be.

Size Chart

SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
4XL 30 in 34 in
5XL 32 in 35 in
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH SLEEVE LENGTH
XS 16.50 in 27.01 in 8.62 in
S 17.99 in 27.99 in 8.90 in
M 20.00 in 29.02 in 9.17 in
L 22.01 in 30.00 in 9.45 in
XL 24.02 in 31.02 in 9.72 in
2XL 25.98 in 32.01 in 10.00 in
3XL 27.99 in 32.99 in 10.39 in
4XL 30.00 in 33.98 in 10.79 in
5XL 32.00 in 35.00 in 11.18 in
  • Made with 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, a lightweight fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)) that is easy to layer, breathable. Perfect for active and leisure wear.
  • The retail fit that is perfect for casual and semi-formal settings. The crew neckline adds a classic, neat style that's perfect for accessorizing.
  • Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in humane, no-sweat-shop, sustainable way and is part of the Fair Labor Association as well as Platinum WRAP certified.
  • The tear-away label minimizes skin irritations.
  • Fabric blends: Ash and Heather Prism colors - 99% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester; Heather colors - 52% cotton, 48% polyester; Athletic Heather and Black Heather - 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 20 in 26 in
M 22 in 27 in
L 24 in 28 in
XL 26 in 29 in
2XL 28 in 30 in
3XL 29 in 32 in
4XL 32 in 33 in
5XL 34 in 34 in
  • Made with a medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²)) that consists of 50% cotton and 50% polyester for that cozy feel and warmth you need in a hoodie.
  • The classic fit along with the pouch pocket and the tear-away label make for a highly comfortable, scratch-free wearing experience.
  • The color-matched drawcord and the double-lined hood add a stylish flair and durability that tie everything together.
  • Made using 100% ethically grown US cotton. Gildan is also a proud member of the US Cotton Trust Protocol ensuring ethical and sustainable means of production. The blank tee's dyes are OEKO-TEX-certified dyes with low environmental impact.
  • Fabric blends: Heather Sport colors - 60% polyester, 40% cotton
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 20 in 26 in
M 22 in 27 in
L 24 in 28 in
XL 26 in 29 in
2XL 28 in 30 in
3XL 30 in 31 in
4XL 32 in 32 in
5XL 34 in 33 in
  • Made with a medium-heavy fabric blend of 50% cotton and 50% polyester (8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)), this sweatshirt feels cozy and is the perfect choice for those colder months.
  • The classic fit along with the crew neckline deliver a comfy wearing experience with a clean-cut style. Meanwhile, the double-needle stitching at the shoulder, armhole, neck, waistband, and cuff seams add top-tier durability.
  • Say goodbye to itchiness thanks to the gray, pearlized tear-away label.
  • Made using 100% ethically grown US cotton. Gildan is also a proud member of the US Cotton Trust Protocol ensuring ethical and sustainable means of production. The blank tee's dyes are OEKO-TEX-certified dyes with low environmental impact.
  • Fabric blends: Heather Sport colors - 60% polyester, 40% cotton
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
4XL 30 in 34 in
5XL 32 in 35 in
  • Medium fabric (6.0 oz/yd² (203 g/m²))
  • Classic fit
  • Runs smaller than usual
  • 100% cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors)
  • Sewn-in label
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 16 in 27 in
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
  • Medium fabric (5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²))
  • 100% Cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors)
  • Classic Fit
  • Tear away label
XS S M L XL 2XL
Width, in 13.98 15.00 15.98 16.97 17.99 18.98
Length, in 26.97 27.48 27.95 28.46 28.98 29.49
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YXS 16 in 20.5 in
YS 17 in 22 in
YM 18 in 23.5 in
YL 19 in 25 in
YXL 20 in 26.5 in
  • Made with 100%, midweight (5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²)), US cotton that feels soft to the touch and a great choice for any season.
  • The crew neckline along with the tee's classic fit, deliver a timeless style that is perfect for daily use.
  • All t-shirts come with pearlized, tear-away labels for total comfort and a scratch-free experience.
  • Made using ethically grown and harvested US cotton. Gildan is also a proud member of the US Cotton Trust Protocol ensuring ethical and sustainable means of production. This blank tee is certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance.
  • Fabric blends: Heather colors - 50% cotton, 50% polyester, Sport Grey - 90% cotton, 10% polyester.